Words of Wisdom
by Femisis
Summary: A series of drabbles written in the course of a roleplay competition. Ichi/Ishi if you squint for some, though it might be more obvious at a later date.
1. Gullible

Wow, my first submission in absolutely FOREVER. I feel happy. XD Anyway, this is going to be a series of oneshots that were typed up during a 'so you think you can roleplay' contest thing on Neopets with a word prompt and post limit. We had to use the prompt word in our post and it couldn't be longer than 6 posts (or 2,400 characters) long. My muse was acting weird, so I decided to do them all via Bleach with Ichigo and Uryuu. There are only six to begin with, but who knows what will happen when I get bored?

Notes: These don't take place in any specific time in the manga as I was trying not to give away any spoilers. Rating is for safety in case future submissions get suggestive.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, then Ichigo and Uryuu would be hiding in closets a lot. Renji would be joining them from time to time.

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Word Prompt: Gullible

It was rare that lunch was a quiet affair at Karakura high school, what with the assortment of teens that called the roof their picnic ground. However, only two of the usual group were there that day as various engagements had called the others away (Chad was sick, Orihime fell out a window and was at the nurse's office, Keigo had been clothesline earlier and was also at the nurse's with Mizuiro in attendance and Tatsuki was at a meeting for the karate team.), leaving Ichigo and Ishida alone on the roof to eat. Despite the camaraderie that had formed between the two, lunch was still silent and rather awkward despite any of Ichigo's attempts to get the dark haired boy talking.

"You know, if you keep giving me the silent treatment, then I'll get upset and when I'm upset Zangetsu is upset." The strawberry patiently explained as he took a sip of his juice, fondly remembering the first time Rukia had tried to open one. Rocket science juice box much?

Snorting, Ishida took a tiny bite out of his sandwich and gave the substitute a hard stare. "Zangetsu is a sword."

"HE is a zanpakuto and has feelings just like Ginrei Kojaku." Ichigo replied with a knowing smirk as Ishida's face turned a bright red. "I can't believe you fell for that, you're so gullible."

"I am not!" Ishida shouted hotly, his cheeks burning. How DARE he bring that up again after he specifically told him to keep his mouth shut about it. "I'm going to get you for that." Some day...


	2. Mullet

Here's the second one and my favorite so far. ^^ Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I wish I did, but I don't.

Prompt: Mullet

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"Kurosaki, would you sit still? I'm going to cut your ear instead of your hair if you don't..." Ishida grumbled as he snipped off a bit more orange hair. "Honestly, why you let it go so long I will never know. Mullets have been out of style for decades."

Rolling his eyes, Ichigo frowned and crossed his arms over his chest as he allowed the Quincy to give him a badly needed haircut. It HAD been a while since he'd gotten it cut and, while it wasn't exactly a mullet, it was a bit long and more wild than usual. "I don't want to hear it. I've seen you staring when you think I'm not look... OW!"

Ishida smirked in satisfaction as he smacked the strawberry upside the head with his free hand before returning to his work. "I was not staring. Your eyes are just bad."

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, Ishida." Ichigo pointed out, earning him another smack upside the head. "Will you quit that?"

"When you stop acting like a moron." The dark haired boy replied lightly, pushing his glasses up his nose before resuming his task of trimming Ichigo's unruly hair while the substitute pouted like a child.


	3. Underwear

Here's number three! By the way, reviews will give me more of an incentive to not do homework and write these. ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I owned Bleach, bad things would happen.

Prompt: Underwear

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"Kurosaki, do you make it a habit to leave your underwear out in the middle of your room for your sisters to see?" 'And for me to trip over,' Ishida added mentally as he stepped over a pair of dirty boxers, wrinkling his nose at the sight.

Shrugging, Ichigo followed his friend in and promptly threw himself in his desk chair, seemingly unperturbed by the mess on the floor. "Yuzu does all the laundry, Karin doesn't care and goat chin is already a total creeper, so it doesn't really matter to me." The substitute replied as he leaned his chin on the back of the chair. "At least it's not freakishly clean like your apartment."

"I happen to LIKE my apartment freakishly clean, thank you very much." The Quincy replied with a frown, cheeks coloring slightly. "Just because you don't mind living in a complete pigsty doesn't mean everyone else has to."

"You need to lighten up, seriously." Ichigo snorted. "I mean, you live by yourself. You should make a mess once in a while."

Pushing his glasses up his nose, Ishida sighed and gave Ichigo a look that would have murdered the dead. "Fine, I'll turn my apartment into a whorehouse this weekend, is that alright with you?" He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the look of pure confusion that crossed Ichigo's face as the other teen tried to figure out if he was being serious or not. They were going to be here for a while...


	4. Organic

Numero quarto is here! *gives puppy eyes* Review? Please? I know people are reading this and it really doesn't take that long to hit the review button, even if it's to tell me how your cat Muffy is doing. I'd love to hear!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I owned it, Ichigo and Uryuu would be married with children. No lie.

Prompt: Organic

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This had to be the worst idea he'd ever had, even worse than running into the Seireitei without a real plan of action to save Rukia. Having dinner at Ishida's place was just plain stupid. "Uugh, what IS this?" Ichigo asked, looking faintly ill as the Quincy put some sort of vaguely greenish soupy looking thing in front of him.

"I'm not telling you." Ishida replied lightly as he sat down opposite the shinigami with his own bowl. "If I tell you, you won't even try it."

"It looks like some little kid had an accident in a bowl." Ichigo told him unabashedly. Prodding at it with his chopsticks, he grimaced again. It looked downright nasty.

Shrugging, Ishida tucked in without hesitation. "It won't kill you, I promise."

"Says you." Ichigo shot back before looking down at the contents of the bowl in front of him. This was just ridiculous! Here he was, one of the most powerful shinigami ever to exist and he was looking at a bowl of something like it was going to eat him? Well, he'd show it! Scowling, Ichigo prodded the mush one more time before lifting some to his mouth and shoving it in. "Hey, this isn't half bad." He said after a moment. "Now will you tell me what's in it?"

Nodding, Ishida swallowed and looked across the table at the other teen. "Of course. It's just organic green vegetables I boiled and threw in a blender." It wasn't something he normally ate, but the look on Ichigo's face as he practically flew to the bathroom was priceless.


	5. Ablutophobia

So I get reviews if I cry? ;~; Reviews nao? 8D Just kidding, I'm doing these because I can, but reviews are loved, too. ^^ This one was fun to do. Kon has a cameo!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I owned it… can you say honeymoon on the beach?

Prompt: ablutophobia

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"Oh, gross! Kon, get the hell out of my face!" Ichigo yelled as he batted the lion plush aside toward Ishida. "Don't you ever take a bath?"

"Of course not!" Kon replied once he hit the floor (Ishida had batted him aside as well.) and jumped up. The mod soul looked offended by the boy's offense, but he also stunk something fierce and had smudges of dirt and other things all over. "Girls like that manly smell!"

Rolling his eyes, Ichigo mutter, "Yeah, if they like the smell of a dumpster." Picking the plush up, he held it at eye level while grimacing from the smell.

"Maybe he has ablutophobia." Ishida suggested as he pushed himself to his feet to examine the mod soul's body as well, his shoulder almost touching Ichigo's. "And before you ask, it's the fear of bathing."

Giving the Quincy a weirded out look, Ichigo tossed Kon into a corner with a frown. "You're such a nerd. Trust you to know some long fancy word like that."

Frowning, Ishida returned to his seat on Ichigo's bed, though with a bit more grace than before. "You're a jerk."

"I was only teasing, jeez." Sighing, the substitute ran his fingers through his hair and plopped down beside his friend on the bed before pulling him into a hug. "At least you're over your shinigamiaphoba."

"That's not a word."

"I know."


	6. Obelisk

Sorry for the delay for this prompt, but finals and the Christmas season have hit me hard. However, I now know what you can review with. ^^ If you so choose, you are more than welcome to give me words to write future prompts on, as otherwise I'll just be picking random words out of a dictionary. You can use any word you like as long as it's not a curse and is in English, so get creative! 8D

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. If I did, Byakuya would probably be working in a brothel.

Prompt: Obelisk

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"Er... what the hell is that thing?" Ichigo asked as he peered up at the tall replica of an even taller rock formation inside the Karakura museum.

"Don't you EVER pay attention in class?" Uryuu asked, sounding exasperated as he joined his friend at the exhibit. "It's an obelisk. The ancient Egyptians made them."

Snorting, Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Like I have time to remember that. I have more important things to worry about, like killing Hollows." He replied, turning to look at his companion.

"A little culture wouldn't kill you, Kurosaki." Ishida replied with a frown as he pushed his glasses up his nose. "Maybe learning about ancient cultures would help you in your dealings with Soul Society. Kami only knows they either hate your guts or worship the ground you walk on."

"Can't argue with that." Ichigo replied with a snort as he returned his gaze to the obelisk. "What do all those little pictures mean?" He asked after studying them for a while.

Keeping his voice even, Ishida replied, "It says that thousands of years in the future, there will be a child born with ridiculous orange hair that can see ghosts but can't keep his grades up."

"Har har, very funny'.

"I aim to please."


	7. Fish

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted, but I ran out of drabbles and then class started, my grandmother ended up in the hospital… crazy stuff. But I'm back and writing more, so here's the latest prompt! Also, I'm going to start trying to respond to reviews from now on, so keep them coming, and thank you for all the constructive criticism and support. ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I'll probably own a Lamborghini before I own Bleach.

Prompt: Fish

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"I can't believe you conned me into eating at your place again." Ichigo grumbled as he sat slumped at the table, watching Uryuu slave over a hot stove idly. He should have learned his lesson after last time, but he put it down to the fact that he liked to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe dinner wouldn't suck this time.

Rolling his eyes, Uryuu stirred the pot on the stove with a huff before looking over his shoulder at his friend. "I'm making my favorite tonight, mackerel miso stew, so if it tastes horrid, then I suffer, too." The dark haired boy commented with a snort. Honestly.

"That's a kind of fish, right?" Ichigo asked suddenly, though he yelped when a hand connected with the back of his head. "What the hell was that for?"

"Don't play dumb, of course mackerel is a fish." Uryuu scolded, holding the ladle in his hand like a sword.

Ichigo couldn't help but admit that the other teen looked kind of cute in that apron, though his thoughts were cut short when a bowl of steaming stew was placed in front of him. "You know, you could have drugged this while I wasn't watching." He commented as he took a small bite, then another.

"Yes, I went out of my way to drug your stew just to get a laugh." The Quincy replied, his words dripping in sarcasm. "Did your parents drop you on your head as a child?"

"My dad probably did a few times…"


	8. Dramatic

If you can't tell, school has hit me hard and is only going to get worse. That won't stop me from posting, though! *dramatic pose!* Okay, it might, but I'm not going to stop COMPLETELY. Just… don't expect these often, as much as I love writing them. *sadface*

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach… Well, I don't, so does it matter?

Prompt: Dramatic

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"Why do they even bother assigning us this stuff? It's not even like I'm going to need to know how to find the volume of a kitten in molten lava when the wind is blowing North West in the middle of the day over the plains in Canada."

"Stop being so dramatic, Kurosaki." Uryuu snorted as he smacked the substitute upside the head. "We may not need to know some of these things, but if you don't learn it now and get a good grade on you exam and in the class, you'll never graduate." He added while checking over his own homework quickly.

Groaning, Ichigo flopped back on his bed, holding the pencil like he was going to stab someone with it, Kon possibly if he could find the mod soul. "Do you think I'd get a good grade on it if I set it on fire and made it burn green?"

Uryuu blinked and turned his head to stare at Ichigo as though he'd just grown an extra head that was speaking Portuguese. "I... don't think so..."

"Crap." The substitute huffed while ripping the sheet of paper with his incorrect answers on it and tossing it in the trash bin next to his desk. "I'll pay you if you let me copy your answers." He said, looking imploringly at his friend.

"I'll go on a date with you if you do it yourself." Uryuu replied arily.

"Wait, what?" Ichigo just stared at the Quincy with a look on his face implying that his brain had just broken while his friend just fell of the computer chair laughing.


	9. Extreme

Holy cow, what is this? Another update? Wow! These next three drabbles are going to change in tone a bit as they were rushed. Read as: I was doing a roleplay contest while simultaneously reading three books and working on an essay. That's the whole point of these things, though, is to see how I write under different circumstances, so… enjoy! 8D

Prompt: Extreme

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Blinking up at the massive structure in front of him, Ichigo cocked his head to the right as he stared at the new roller coaster he and his friends were in line to ride.

"The first drop is 300 feet long and it hits speeds of up to 97 miles an hour..."

"Isn't that a bit extreme?" The substitute asked as he turned to stare at Uryuu, giving the other boy an odd look.

"What do you mean?" Uryuu replied, pushing his glasses up his nose as he lifted his head from the wrinkled park map he was reading.

"Is it really necessary for this thing to be that big? And is it necessary for you to be reading about it aloud when we're all already freaking out about riding it?" Ichigo frowned, shoving his hands in his pants pockets with a snort. "You're such a nerd."

Shrugging, Uryuu folded the map back up and tucked it back in his pocket. "You've fought an innumerable amount of Hollows and nasty monsters of all sorts and you're afraid to ride a roller coaster?" He laughed, giving Ichigo an amused look.

"Yeah, when the G forces could pull my brain out of my skull and splatter it all over the pavement... Or the people behind me..." Ichigo muttered, looking sour.


	10. Empathy

I'll be honest. This one is almost hands down my favorite drabble so far and I'm kind of tempted to expand it into an oneshot. Thoughts? Don't forget, reviews are loved. ^^

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, I wouldn't have so many student loans. x.x

Prompt: Empathy

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"So... this is your mother's grave, then?" Uryuu asked softly, letting a hand rest on his friend's shoulder as they stared at the small but elaborate shrine.

"Yeah..." Ichigo murmured in reply, looking quite a bit more downcast than usual. "We usually only come here on the day..." He trailed off and sighed. "I just felt like I should come.

Nodding, Uryuu gave the other a sympathetic smile, though it was a bit weak. He really couldn't feel much empathy for his friend as he'd never really learned how to mourn properly, not for his grandfather or his own mother, so it was hard to relate. Sort of. "It's not your fault, you know..."

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard it a million times." Ichigo scowled, regretting for a moment that he'd brought Uryuu with him, but maybe the reason he'd brought the Quincy along was because he wouldn't pity him or tell him everything was going to be alright.

"You can't protect everyone." Uryuu said after a bit, though quickly added before the substitute could punch him, "But you can protect me from Inoue's cooking tonight, deal?"

Breaking into a smirk, Ichigo threw his arm around his friend's shoulder as he dragged him back down the path to the street. "Of course I'll protect your skinny little ass from food poisoning, if only because I don't want to hear you complain about it tomorrow."

Huffing as he was dragged, Uryuu muttered, "Jerk," as a small smile worked its way across his face.


	11. Created

Thank you to all of the reviewers so far and thank you to Lira for the word suggestion. I'm going to have fun with it, expect to see it as the next drabble!

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Bleach. If I did, I wouldn't be updating a fanfic during my Brit Lit class.

Prompt: Created

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"Uryuu... I believe you've created a monster." Ichigo commented flatly as he stared at the plush toy in the dark haired boy's hands. He'd brought Kon's body over after it had (accidentally) been run through the washer on high, then torn up by a cat when hung out to dry. Thus, the lion plush looked a lot more like noodles that had been run through a paper shredder, though Uryuu had been gallant enough to offer to fix it.

"I'll admit, it's not my best work." Uryuu frowned as he examined the thing in his hands. It looked a lot more like a pug than a lion at this point, one that was two different shades of tan, now that he looked at it. "I think I've made it worse." The sewing prodigy sighed.

Shrugging, Ichigo plucked the attack victim out of his friend's grasp and examined it carefully. "There wasn't much of anything to make worse." He winced at the reminder of how badly the cat had mauled the plush without their knowledge. It hurt to look at.

"Kon-kun isn't going to be happy about this..." Looking at Ichigo, he frowned at the thought.

"He'll get over it. At least he still has a body, thanks to you." Ichigo shrugged as he leaned over to plant a small kiss on Uryuu's cheek, leaving the other boy stunned and blushing.

"What was that?"

"I didn't want to have to pay you, so... OW!"

"Serves you right." Uryuu scowled as he put the heavy textbook back, leaving Ichigo to rub the back of his head sourly.


	12. Experience

Sorry for the lack of updates. . My summer was really crazy with work and now that I'm back in school and have a Fiction writing class to worry about, updating this has, sadly, been put on the backburner. I will try to sneak in a drabble or two between school, work and playing Touhou, tho! xD

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, Ichigo and Uryuu would have sex all day. Since they're not, I don't own it. Please don't kill me, Kubo.

Edit: I just realized that I never said what the prompt was! x.x

Prompt: Extreme

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"Are you SURE you know what you're doing, Kurosaki?" Uryuu asked while leaning over the berry's shoulder.

"Of course I do! It's not like it's that hard to figure out..." Ichigo scoffed at the other teen as he waved his Nintendo DS about vaguely. "All you have to do is fight the little critters until they gain enough experience to level up, right?

"Pokemon is just a BIT more complicated than that..." Uryuu sighed, arranging himself attractively on the bed in order to begin to explain the deeper intricacies of the game. "It depends on the type, their personality, what their strengths and weaknesses are, their beginning stats..." He began, huffing when Ichigo cut him off with a snort.

"How the hell do you know any of this?" Ichigo asked almost accusingly, giving his friend the stink eye. "I just picked this up today because Keigo dared me to play him. What's your excuse?"

Face turning bright red, Uryuu blinked and stuttered madly. "I... I... well..." He was saved from further embarrassment when he happened to glance at Ichigo's screen and saw something rather interesting. "Oh, look, your Tepig died."

"DAMMIT!"


End file.
